Past Haunts, Past Regrets
by Baby Luna Kitty
Summary: Usagi's tale of a past that not only haunts her but a past she also regrets even though she would never change what she did for the world and the life she has now; a family and friends.


**Past Haunts, Past Regrets - A one shot by Baby Luna Kitty**

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Death; It was the only word she was beginning to believe that was actually in her vocabulary let alone her life. Though she didn't understand why since this life; her life; was suppose to be her second chance at life not something that had death all around it. Even though it was her choice and she wouldn't regret it years from now; right now at the moment she was truly wondering if this was all there was to life. Killing what needed to be killed as if they were a wounded animal that had to be killed so it wasn't in pain, or an animal that she was hunting down for the thrill of the hunt. Either way she knew one thing she was here, she was alive, and once again death was near her calling to her to help him end one more life because she was his friend and he was hers; possibly her only friend.

Her blood grew hotter and hotter as she ran through the night; the thrill of the hunt finally getting to her senses. She knew who she was looking for, she knew where he was and she knew it was only a matter of time before she would be able to get him alone where no one could help him; not even an angel of mercy because she herself knew there was no such thing as mercy. Finally coming to a stop her blue eyes scanned around for the pub she knew he was at, knew he was getting drunk at so he could once again go home and beat his newest girlfriend. Finally spotting the old run downed pub she slowly yet seductively walked up to the building her long silver hair swaying back and forth as she walked. Slowly opening the door she stepped inside eyeing the place and the men it. How these place always attracted men like a moth to the flame she would never know. Maybe it was the alcohol and washing your fears or pains away in it, maybe it was their way of getting away from reality and going to a place where no one could hurt them; 'No' she thought that wasn't most of these men's reasons for being here. Like the man she was hunting they were here to get drunk and have a reason to act like the pigs; no the asses; they were.

When her now dark blue eyes spotted the man she need; no the man she wanted; she walked up to the empty pub stool that was next to him. Sitting down carefully she looked at the bartender waving him over with her small hand. She knew the way to get the man alone without raising questions, though it wasn't her favorite part of her job it was most likely the most intriguing part of it. "I'll take a shot of whiskey, please." She said her smooth voice ringing through the ears around her like a bell on Christmas Eve. The bartender nodded his head getting a shot glass out from under the bar and reaching behind to where he knew the whiskey to be. He poured her a glass sliding the now full shot glass over to her not even bothering to ask her for the money they both knew he should have charged her for. Smiling once more at the bartender she picked the shot glass up by three fingers and lifted it to her lips quickly throwing back her head and downing the liquid allowing it to burn down the back of her throat.

Placing the shot glass back down on the bar she looked towards the man next to her that was now staring at her as if she was a piece of meat. Trying not to show a face of disgust she smiled lightly at him as if saying 'here I am come and get me' to him. She knew it wouldn't take anymore persuasion then that to get him to catch onto her simple and easy seduction. And to say she was right in her assumption was easily an understatement. He smiled a smile that a usual drunken man would smile, a smile that would make any sober man or women turn their head away in shame but it didn't deter the pale beautiful women any it only encourage her to go farther into the work she had set out to do. Taking one look at the glass that was empty yet for some reason still in the man's hands she looked back up to him tilting her head towards the front door of the old pub she had recently came through. Both he and everyone else knew what that meant and he easily smiled a drunken smile once again giving her all momentum to stand up and sashay seductively out the front door she had just seconds ago tilted her head towards; the drunk man eagerly and happily got up to follow her not knowing what was to come because of his simple desire.

Her head only turned back once to make sure he was following, knowing that he would most likely not deter from where she was leading him. Turning into the closet yet farthest ally from the old pub she waited for him to turn in before going farther back into the darkness. Not once did he voice any worry if indeed he had any and not once did he seem to care as long as he got what he had followed her for. When she had reached what she believed as the darkest and widest area of the alley she turned around to face him; her blue eyes turning into a darker shade showing the anticipation of the kill, sadly though the man in front of her didn't know what was to come of him still. It wasn't until he moved closer shoving her into the closest wall and shoving his liquor smelling mouth on top of hers did he have any inclination of what was to come. She would look back at it later and wonder why it was then it sunk into his mind the fear flashing clearing across his eyes; either way she didn't care at that moment as long as she got her job done and it was one less scum bag off of the streets. Her slim hand swiftly and quickly grabbed one of the Sais that he had somehow missed seeing at her hip and in one swift motion her other arm was wrapped around his upper body holding him up as she stabbed him soundlessly in his stomach causing his mouth to finally move away from hers. "Why?" It was the only question, the only word that uttered from his mouth as she let him slump to the ground, a trail of blood trailing out of the side of his mouth.

"It's because of what you've done to the defenseless women in your life." She said the disgust easily rolling off her tongue as easily as the words did; her blue eyes stayed darkened as she bent down to look at him more closely. "It's because finally one of them decided to stick up for themselves before you killed them indefinitely." She said as she placed the sharp side of her Sais across his neck once his face showed he understood why he was dying and why of all people a women was doing the murdering, because out of all his life not once had a women fought back; until now and with that final movement of her wrist blood poured down his neck causing him to fall completely to the ground. She stood up her blue eyes stared down at the corpse that was now bleeding out into a puddle around her feet; she knew what this job intended when she said yes, but she didn't realize it would feel so, normal. Waiting only a few seconds longer she bent down wiping the blood off of her Sais using the now dead man's shirt. Standing up she replaced it to its home at the hilt on her hip. With a sadistic, happy smile she walked out of the dark and scary; to a normal person that is; alley as if she had not just killed a man in cold blood, as if she was not ashamed even if someone did find out the horror of her life, the secrets she kept from those she knew; even though she knew no one but the ones she worked for.

She walked at a normal pace until she got to the borders of some town in Japan, she had forgotten the town's name, maybe because it wasn't truly significant or maybe because she knew she wouldn't be back unless another man needed to be dealt with. Once she reached the border she walked to the first inn she found; it wasn't very far and she was thankful because she wanted to get this part done so she could find more work, or maybe take a vacation it wasn't like she couldn't. Walking swiftly up the stairs in the inn she walked to the end of the hallway knocking silently three times on the old wooden oak door marked '67C'. When the door opened she gave a kind smile walking in not waiting for a worded invitation. As soon as she heard the banging of the door closing behind her she turned to look at the women that stood there; she couldn't have been no older then her mother when she ran away from her, and she couldn't have looked more fragile then a child. "Its over you don't have to worry anymore." She said the words moving angelically off her tongue causing the women in front of her to fall to the ground crying tears of not only joy but relief over the fact that she would not let herself be harmed again, that she was not a prisoner anymore.

Smiling once more at the women she walked away her long silver hair swaying back and forth as she walked out of the room closing the door behind her. "My work here is done." She said softly as she walked out of the inn as if she was there for hours if not days. She was glad she had done something for another and she knew years, maybe days from now when she was sitting alone the music flittering in her ears she would wonder why death, why killing felt so normal, so easy for her but now she would rejoice because one more women was safe from harm.

**Years Later**

She was sitting on a couch her light blue eyes watching a small baby, maybe four months old playing with a tiny homemade doll; up and down, up and down was the motions not only the little doll went though but also the tiny child's arms and eyes as she made it move. It was then as she sat there watching this tiny defenseless baby play with a doll did she finally allow herself to once again look back at that time in her life. Standing up carefully from the couch she walked over the a small baby rocker placing the cooing pink haired red eyed baby that was in her arms into it setting it to rock softly. She turned around walking swiftly and quietly into her bedroom wiping a lone tear from her eye before it had the chance of betraying her and falling. Not once did she cry at her past; she wouldn't allow it. She couldn't understand why now of all the times she thought about that time did she start to cry.

"Are you okay Honey?" An ebony haired man asked walking up behind the silver haired women and carefully wrapping his arms around her. It didn't take anymore of an invitation for her to turn around in his safe and warm arms and bury her head in his chest; not crying but not allowing herself to wrap herself in such a depression she wouldn't be able to functions for days. Finally being able to get around the ghost of her past that haunted her to this day, the past that made her regret things even though she knew when she looked in her daughter's red eyes she would never change that past even if she could. Pulling away from the warmth and security of the chest she was buried in she looked up into the dark eyes of the man she was proud to call her husband and smiled up at him.

"I'm fine Mamo-chan, I was just thinking about my past; before you and Chibi-Usa." She said her words easily rolling of her tongue as she leaned up to kiss him tenderly on the lips. "Have I ever thanked you for all the things you've done for me?" She asked with a playful smile.

"No my Usako I don't believe you have, nor have I heard the words 'I love you' utter out of your mouth in the past ten minutes I've been home." He said with a small chuckle as he held his wife possessively. He had known of her past when they started dating, he had known of what it did to her when she sat down and thought about it even though he knew she wouldn't change it.

"Well then I will have to correct that." She said her lips turning into a brighter smile then before. "Aishiteru Mamo-chan." She said softy laying her head back on his chest listening to his heart beat.

"I love you too Usako, you and our beautiful daughter." He said placing his chin on top of her silver hair breathing in his wife's scent. "How about we go join her in the living room, when I came in the house she was saying how much she wanted to watch one of those kiddy movies." He said laughing when he felt his wife's slender elbow slam into his stomach lightly.

"I doubt my dear that she would word it quite like that." She said pulling out of his arms and walking out of the bedroom throwing a smirk behind her as she went to pull her daughter out of the swing she had placed her in moments before. "Did you miss mommy?" She asked her daughter as she held her gently in her arms. Smiling when she saw two tiny little hands reach up for a hug and she felt her husband wrap his arms around her waist from behind. "I love our little family." She said softly as she laid her head back on her husband's chest. It wasn't until she heard a soft knock on the door followed by a "Knock louder then that Ami-chan" and then a bang did she remember; not only did she have a family but she had friends that accepted her too now.

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_A/N: Please Read and Review tell me what you think._


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